i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Michael Bay diarrhea
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
