I got chris browned last night
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
