Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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