I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
