He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
