Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
