The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
