Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
