her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
