White coat. Heels.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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