At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cut my penus on the lid.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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