Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
