I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
