Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
