It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize