I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
