I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
