Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
