So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
