Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I CAN MOONWALK!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
