Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
