hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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