if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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