Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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