Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
