nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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