I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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