these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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