you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
