i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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