Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
