carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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