I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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