why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
