This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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