Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My pussy is not your playground.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
