no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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