When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
