i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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