David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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