You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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