last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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