did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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