Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
