also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
