I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
