he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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