Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize