I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
