so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
