Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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