If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize