LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
