Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just gift wrapped bread.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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