Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
