So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
