Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
