Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Those nachos came to me in a dream
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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