hell yes lets make some ravioli
zippers are such a cool invention
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize