Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize