Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
