He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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