She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
