Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
