All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
