we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
